As a kid I was always into cats. We had strays turn up to our house all the time and we’d feed them our leftovers. Naturally they’d end up staying. Every now and then we’d hear meowing coming from the shed, where we’d find a litter of kittens which would end up sticking around too. I was well and truly a cat person.
One time I was feeding a kitten inside and I was fascinated by it. I loved its cute face and blind eyes, its soft fur, the adorable meows. I can’t remember how many days I fed it for, but one day I came back into the bathroom to check up on it and it had died. I believe it was because I gave it off milk (I’m not sure if this was the case, but it may be), and I was devastated. I ran crying into the room and hid behind a drawer, ashamed and guilty. That night I didn’t enjoy the fireworks (it was Guy Fawkes), and I spent most of that evening sobbing.
This journey of anguish was only because I loved cats so much.
When it comes to dogs however, I was terrified of them. I was always scared I’d get bitten. I didn’t like them barking at me. I’m still scared of some dogs now and I sometimes feel that familiar fear I used to experience at the sight of any dog (excluding puppies. How could you not love puppies). We used to go up to Koro Dickie’s house past my Nan’s house as kids and he had a bunch of yapping Chihuahua’s that scared the shit out of me. I’d hate going there and was waiting for the day they’d attack me. I was so afraid of dogs I even said I was allergic to them so I wouldn’t have to be around them. Funnily enough I only told this to my cousins and no adults, so I still had to be around them every now and then.
Fast forward decades later and during a deep conversation with my dad, my fear of dogs came up. This next part was news to me. He told me I was bitten from my aunties dog as a toddler, and it all made sense to me now. It felt like validation for my fear. I wasn’t crazy for hating dogs like I did.
I’ve now learnt the joy and love dogs bring through my partner who taught me how to approach dogs and how to be around them. I love dogs now and experience first-hand how awesome they are. They are excited to see you all the time and have no malice or bad bone in their body. We are lucky we get to experience them the way we do.
The moral of this story is that somehow, this thing I hated and was terrified of, is now something I love, and it’s because I was taught how to understand and appreciate it